Are They or Aren't They?
by JennieBlue
Summary: E/C and R/V. Ryan and Valera discuss the incidents they've seen that make them wonder if Eric & Calleigh are together. Are they, or aren't they dating?


Are They or Aren't They?

Maxine Valera plopped down onto the barstool next to Ryan at Pedro's Cantina with her usual aplomb, plopping her purse on top of the bar in front of her. Within thirty seconds her favorite drink was placed in front of her. Being a regular patron had its advantages. So did arriving during Happy Hour when the special included two for one drinks.

"Okay, spill it," Valera demanded of Ryan as she stirred the ice in her drink with her index finger.

"Hello Maxine," Ryan replied wryly. "Nice to see you too."

Valera merely rolled her eyes. "What's got your panties in a twist?"

"My pan…" Ryan's eyes bugged when he realized what she meant. He looked at her with a measure of disgust, "I don't wear panties Valera and you darn well know it."

"What's got your tightie whities in a bunch?"

"It's boxers!"

She snorted indelicately. "Fine, what's got your boxers in a bunch?"

"Eric and Calleigh."

"What the hell did they do? Eric glue your locker shut again?"

Ryan turned around on his stool to face her. "I think they're together… you know, dating," he finished in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Oh for shit's sake, is that all?" At his look of confusion she rolled her eyes and muttered. "You're just now figuring that out?"

"Calleigh told you?"

"No, you moron." She rolled her eyes again as she sipped her drink. "Jesus, where did you get your degree in chemistry? Dollar General?" She sighed heavily, "Calleigh would never tell me, or anyone else for that matter, anything personal."

"Then how do you know?"

"You tell me first. What makes you think they're doing the nasty?"

Ryan grimaced. "I didn't need that visual picture Max."

Valera only smiled devilishly in return. "Come on, two hot people like that, years of UST… of course they're doing…"

"Stop!" Ryan gulped his now warm beer in an effort to rid his mind of the mental picture of Eric and Calleigh having sex. He turned back around on his stool. "UST?"

"Unresolved sexual tension," Valera reminded herself again that she needed to help him out of the sweater vests and into the twenty-first century.

"Oh," he muttered. Then he looked around to make sure no one else was listening in on their conversation. "Okay, the other day on our way back from that body dump in the glades Eric and I stopped for lunch at Joe's Subs… and after we ate and were ready to head back, he grabbed a sandwich to go."

"And," Valera stated, looking expectantly at him, waiting for more.

"And at first I thought he was just hungry, but not ten minutes after we got back I found Calleigh in the break room eating that sandwich."

"So, that doesn't prove anything. She was hungry. He picked her up some lunch."

"Yeah, but he hadn't talked to her all morning, not since we left the lab… and going to Joe's was a spur of the moment decision." He paused for a moment. "See, no one buys someone else a sandwich unless that person asked for one, unless of course it's your _girlfriend_ and you just _know_ she'll be hungry… and you just _happen_ to know what kind of sandwich she'd want."

"Okay, I'll give you that one… but mine's even better." Valera took a long drink, then continued. "Remember that meeting all of us had in the break room Monday morning?"

"Yeah."

"If you'll remember, Calleigh sat on the couch and Eric sat on the arm of the couch, right next to her."

"Max, that doesn't prove anything. I'm sitting next to you, and we're not… uh… having sex."

"Yet."

Ryan choked on his drink, prompting Valera to slap his back several times as he struggled to catch his breath. She laughed; he was so easy to get flustered.

_Calleigh strolled into the break room a little early, normal for her as she hated to be late for anything, especially meetings called by Horatio. Closing her eyes she leaned her head back on the back of the couch and sighed. She was far too tired this morning, and it being her first day back from vacation made it all the more hard to be there._

"_Nice tan, Cal," Ryan told her as he entered the room and sat down into a chair opposite the couch. _

"_Thanks… five days and four nights of sun and fun and… well, fun," she finished with a slight blush as Natalia plopped unceremoniously down onto the couch next to her._

"_Five days and four nights of sun, fun, and… great sex?" Natalia inquired as she sat back. _

"_I'm not telling," she drawled, her accent thickening as the mere memories of her vacation flitted through her thoughts, bringing a soft smile to her lips._

_Eric chose that moment to enter the room, but he made a beeline for the coffee pot before sitting down. Calleigh's eyes followed him as he made the coffee and then crossed the room to where they were sitting._

_He sighed as he sat down on the arm of the couch next to Calleigh, returning the smile she gave him. He could have taken the chair next to Wolfe, who sat opposite them, but he'd much rather sit next to Calleigh. Calleigh was much prettier. Smelled better too. _

_He looked down at Calleigh as she yawned and leaned her head back on the couch. A smile touched his lips; he knew darn good and well why she was tired. He'd kept her up quite late the night before. Not that she complained._

_Ryan, ever the brown-noser, sat up straighter in his chair and greeted Horatio as he entered the room. _

_Eric nudged Calleigh's shoulder and handed her his cup of coffee, which she gratefully accepted with a demure smile. He watched as she held the warm cup between her hands, closed her eyes and sniffed the aroma that emanated from it. She took several long sips from the cup before returning it to his hand and for the duration of the meeting they shared that treasured cup of coffee. _

Ryan looked thoughtfully down at his beer. "You're right… they did drink from the same cup of coffee." He pondered it for another moment, "Like it was the most natural thing in the world."

"Not just a regular cup where they can sip from different sides of it," Valera reminded him. "But a cup that had a lid with one small area to sip from."

"You don't drink out of someone's cup like that unless you've been… intimate."

Valera grabbed Ryan's beer and drank the rest of it down.

"Maxine!"

"See, we haven't done the deed yet, but I can drink from your cup because I'm me."

Ryan shook his head in disgust and signaled to the bartender for another beer. "Well, if you ever want to… do the deed… with me, you've got to stop doing stuff like that. Gross, Max."

Now it was Valera's turn to choke on her drink. She signaled to the bartender to be quicker about getting him another beer. Ryan was loosening up and she wanted it to continue.

"You know," Ryan said as he grasped the fresh bottle of beer, "Calleigh had just come back from vacation, all tanned up… and last week I didn't see Delko for days…." His eyes grew wide and a smug smile crossed his face. "I bet they were on vacation together!"

"Mmmmhmmm," Valera concurred, "And wasn't she really tired that morning, like she'd had either a late night or a very early morning?"

"Yeah," Ryan was really getting into it now. "And Delko had kind of a smug smile on his face. Like he was the reason she was so tired."

"Yep, the smile of a very satisfied man. I've seen that on a man... many times," she added with a grin and a wink.

Ryan pondered the developments for a few more minutes while he sipped his beer, keeping it in his left hand, away from Valera, lest she think it was okay to grab his bottle and actually drink out of it again.

Valera grinned. She could see the gears and cogs in his mind spinning, trying to remember other times he may have seen hints of a relationship between Eric and Calleigh, but not realized it for what it was. She waited another beat then blurted, "I've got another one."

"What?" Ryan asked without a second's hesitation, his eagerness for more information more than evident.

Valera grinned again. He was so predictable. She was the master of all that happened at the crime lab and she loved it. "More evidence that Eric and Calleigh are doing it." She turned her head, and smiled at herself. She loved to make him squirm. Some day she hoped to make him squirm in a much more erotic fashion

Ryan waited several moments, watching as she calmly sipped her drink, humming a strange tune. "Spill it!" he finally cried in frustration.

"No."

"What…you…you can't just tell me you have more evidence, and… and… and just not tell me," he spluttered, hands waving in the air.

"You have to buy me a drink," she stated as she downed the last bit of liquid in her glass.

Ryan didn't even think twice. He turned to the bartender. "Another drink please!" he requested rather rudely. Damn it, but he wanted to know what she knew!

Valera sighed with delight as the bartender set another drink in front of her. She sipped it calmly, a grin on her lips.

Less than ten seconds later Ryan couldn't hold it in any longer. He huffed, "Okay, Smarty Pants, what's your proof?"

"Well, the other day," she began, grinning at the eager look on Ryan's face.

_Valera sighed as she gathered up the DNA samples she'd worked on all morning, placed them back in the evidence box, and then made her way toward the evidence storage room. It had been one long morning and she was really looking forward to Happy Hour. A good adult beverage could soothe any work related stress. _

_As she usually did when she was making her way from one point to another, she looked at her surroundings, wanting to know who was doing what and where. Nothing escaped her, and no one would steal her title of Gossip Queen from her._

_This day everything she saw was mundane, as it usually was… that is, until she walked past the break room. What she saw stopped her in her tracks, jaw dropping to the floor. But, moments later she recovered and continued on her way, a shit-eating grin on her face._

_Fifteen minutes earlier Calleigh returned from interviewing a witness in one of their latest cases. She carried with her a bag of food from her and Eric's favorite lunch spot, New Asia, a fantastic Chinese restaurant. It was a late lunch, so the break room was empty, much to Calleigh's delight. It meant she and Eric could talk freely during lunch, they wouldn't have to watch what they said._

_Having called Eric on her cell phone when she arrived at the Lab, he entered the break room shortly thereafter, just as she was placing the foam containers on a table by the window. He carried two bottles of water with him, which he placed on the table as he leaned in for a quick kiss. _

"_Smells great, Babe," Eric told her as he sat down. "Did you get my favorite?"_

_Calleigh gave him a raised eyebrow look, as if he even had to ask. Her lips turned up in a smile, "Yep, Beef with Broccoli."_

_Eric scowled, he hated that dish. "Calleigh," he growled, "only vegetable freaks like that." _

_Calleigh placed his container in front of him, opening it up as she slid it into place. "You're too easy, Honey."_

"_Yes, General Tso's!" he exclaimed in return, mouth salivating at the feast before him. "Love you, Babe," he added with a charming smile and a wink. _

_Calleigh's lips turned up in a smile, he could get her going every time just by uttering those three little words, or two as it were this time. "I love you too," she whispered, eyes sparkling. "Now eat," she ordered softly as she sat down and opened her own container of Sweet N Sour Chicken._

_They discussed the current cases they were working on as well as their plans for the upcoming weekend as they ate. They were planning to take Eric's boat out for a spin, just the two of them, the open water, and a picnic lunch that included a bottle of wine. Just the mere thought of making love to Calleigh out under the clear blue sky on his boat made his blood stir and his body hum, and he had to think of something different quickly, or it would be a while before he could stand up._

_His eyes lit on the food in her dish. He loved it when she ordered Sweet N Sour anything because he loved to eat the carrots smothered in the sweet n sour sauce. "Mmmmm, looks good, Cal."_

_Knowing what he wanted, she smiled demurely at him and picked up a piece of carrot with her fingers, dipped it in the sauce, then held it up to him. Instead of picking it up with his own fingers, he surprised her when he bent his head and took it with his mouth, enveloping the carrot and her fingers between his lips. _

_Shocked, Calleigh gasped, then moaned lightly when his tongue laved her fingers lasciviously as his lips pulled backward, taking the carrot into his mouth. Her lips were slightly parted and her own tongue came out to lick her now parched lips, to say nothing of the sudden rush of moisture between her thighs at his highly erotic act. She blinked a few times to clear the fog. "Eric," she murmured as she turned around to see if anyone happened to be passing by and saw that display. "Someone might have seen us."_

_A grin was plastered on his face as he followed her gaze. "Not to worry, no one's there… no one saw us." _

_She turned back around to see the grin on his face. "You can't be doing that kind of stuff here at work," she admonished him, the smile she was unable to hold back giving her insincerity away. _

"_Why not?" He motioned around the room with a wave of his hand. "No one was here."_

_Calleigh leaned across the table, fixed her deep emerald gaze at him, and whispered lowly, "Because now you've got me all excited -"_

_Eric's eyes widened and his nostrils flared when her pink tongue flicked out to lick her lips, a move he knew was deliberate._

"_And you'll have to finish what you started when we get back to my place later," she finished, tongue flicking out again. _

_His mouth was dry and her actions were making it hard to speak, but he managed to squeak out, "Why your place?"_

"_Because I have chocolate syrup."_

'_Oh yeah,' Eric thought to himself as he swallowed thickly, 'I'm gonna be in here for a while.'_

"So, Calleigh gave Eric some food," Ryan said dismissively. "That proves nothing. I just bought you a drink."

"No. Jesus Ryan," Valera muttered, clearly exasperated. "Are you really that dumb, or are you just being stubborn now?" At his scowl she continued, "Calleigh _fed_ him the food… her fingers were in his mouth!"

Ryan's eyes shot toward the ceiling. His mouth hung open.

Valera verbalized what he was thinking. "That's right. Co-workers who aren't having sex do NOT put their fingers in each other's mouths."

"Okay… okay," Ryan said, trying to rationalize things as he usually did. "I'll give you that. But, what if Eric slipped when taking the food from her?"

"Slipped with his mouth?!" she asked incredulously. "He was using his mouth, not his fingers or his fork."

"Maybe they're not seeing each other right now, but he wants to so he took the food with his mouth instead of a fork."

"True… true," Valera considered. "But I've also got proof that they're doing it now, and it's more than just Eric _wanting_ to do her."

Ryan grimaced at her rather crude depiction of Eric and Calleigh's possible relationship. "Do you have to put it like that?"

"What?" Her expression and shrug was the picture of innocence. She was playing him and he knew it.

He shook his head and threw his hands up in the air. It was pointless. "Just tell me what this proof is."

She took a long pull on her drink before beginning her next story. "Well, just today as I was getting ready to come here… I was in the locker room you know, specifically the ladies powder room, getting dressed, putting on my makeup… you know and fixing my hair,"

"I get it, I get it, Max." He sighed heavily. "Now get on with the story."

"When I came out of the ladies room…"

_Eric was tired as he pushed open the door to the locker room, the tiredness dissipating as his eyes lit on the lone occupant of the room - Calleigh. She stood with her back to him as she hung up her lab coat in her locker. Perking up, he smiled and moved up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist when he reached her side._

"_Eric!" she admonished as she turned around and attempted to move out of his embrace, but his arms only tightened around her. "What if someone sees us?"_

_Bringing her in closer, Eric leaned his forehead against hers. "You're the only person in here." Moving his hands to rest on her hips, he began to softly brush his lips across her cheek, loving the shiver he received in return. "So no one is going to see us," he murmured when his lips hovered over her ear, his teeth closing over and tugging on the soft fleshy lobe._

_Calleigh's legs turned to jelly and a soft moan escaped her lips. Her hands gripped Eric's muscular biceps as she struggled to maintain control of her senses. "Eric," she whispered in a slow drawl, her accent thickening. "I really don't think…" Her words were cut off when his tongue joined his teeth in their assault on her ear lobe; she could no longer hold a coherent thought._

_Oh yeah, he had her. When her accent became more pronounced, he knew he won. Drawing his fingers under the hem of her shirt and caressing the soft skin he found there, he kissed a dewy trail across her cheek as his lips moved back to capture hers in a soft lingering kiss. _

_For Calleigh, the rest of the world around them ceased to exist. The thought that they might get caught was pushed to the very back of her mind as the very familiar and very welcome rush of warmth and emotion spread through her body. She whimpered and parted her lips to deepen the kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself against his body. _

_With just a little force, Eric pushed her back against the locker next to hers and nipped at her bottom lip, kissing her a little more roughly, pushing past her lips to tangle his tongue with hers. _

_Calleigh couldn't help the louder moan that slipped from her lips at the invasion of his tongue and the feel of his fingers as they moved up her back and around to skim the gentle swell of her breasts. The assault on her senses was complete when he thrust his hips against her and cupped her breasts, his thumbs brushing against her nipples, instantly turning them into pebbled tips._

_After ravishing her lips, Eric reluctantly tore his lips from hers, not only to catch his breath, but also to restore some sense of sanity before they lost all control of themselves. It would be one thing to be caught kissing in the locker room, but another to be caught practically making love against the lockers. _

_He gazed down at her with heavily lidded eyes, loving the way she looked; it was one of his favorites. Her hair was mussed, her lips swollen, her cheeks tinged with pink, her eyes a deep shade of green – it was definitely the look of someone that had been deeply and thoroughly kissed. With a lopsided grin he brought his hands back down to her hips, his fingers still tucked underneath the hem of her shirt. He wasn't yet ready to let go of his touch against her bare skin. _

_Struggling to catch her breath, Calleigh could only stare back at him, a smile on her own slightly parted lips that matched the one on his. _

"_Let's continue this at my place," he murmured, motioning toward the door with a nod of his head._

"_Yeah," Calleigh managed to say as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Your place. Better yet…"_

_Her words were cut off by the sound of a toilet flushing, followed quickly by the sound of running water in the ladies bathroom. Eric moved back to stand in front of his own locker, opening it quickly. Calleigh turned toward her own locker and busied herself with the contents inside. _

_Both turned to greet the person that came out of the ladies bathroom shortly thereafter. _

"_Hi, Maxine!" Calleigh greeted her with a smile._

"_Calleigh… Eric," Valera said in return as she glanced at them with a smile of her own, receiving an even larger smile from Calleigh and a sideways glance from Eric. _

_Eric could have sworn her saw a sparkle of mischief in Valera's eyes. It was a look that she usually had when she was up to no good. His eyes followed her as she made her way toward the exit, and his heart stopped when she looked back at them both and smirked, before crossing the threshold and into the hallway beyond._

"_She knows," Eric stated with finality after the door closed behind Valera._

"_No she doesn't. She couldn't possibly have heard us." _

_Eric looked toward the bathroom, then back at Calleigh. "Yeah… maybe you're right."_

"_I am," Calleigh confirmed as she closed her locker door, and purse in hand, grabbed Eric's arm. "Let's go, you've got some unfinished business to take care of."_

Ryan stared at Valera, mouth open, beer completely drained. "Oh my God… you've got to be right. If Eric's hands were under her shirt… there's no doubting they're together."

"Not his hands, just his fingers. When I left the bathroom and found them against the lockers, it was Eric's fingers under her shirt, not his entire hand… or hands." She drained her own drink and signaled the bartender to refill both their drinks. "Not only that, but I would swear Calleigh's lips were swollen."

"Swollen?" Ryan was confused. "You mean, like she was stung by a bee or something?"

"Oh my God," Valera moaned. "No! Like she was kissed senseless! A long senseless kiss at that."

"Did Eric have lipstick on his face?"

"I couldn't see his face, only hers. They didn't know I was there, and while I would have LOVED to surprise them… I don't know, I just didn't think it would be right."

Again, Ryan gaped at Valera.

"Close your mouth, Ryan. You look like a guppie."

He closed his mouth as he was told. "Max, I do believe you may be growing up."

"Oh shut up. I just… I like them. I didn't want to embarrass them and I know Calleigh would have been embarrassed." She grabbed the drink the bartender sat down in front of her, taking a long sip. "So, I went back into the bathroom, propped the door open a little with my purse so they would hear me, and then I flushed the toilet… made a little noise."

"What were they doing when you walked back into the locker room?"

"Playing innocent. They were both getting stuff out of their lockers, acting like they were getting ready to leave."

Ryan held up his beer, tipping it toward Valera in a gesture. "So… they're both gone at the same time, she comes back with a tan, and as you said, Eric looked like a satisfied man. He sits next to her at the meeting on Monday, instead of sitting in the chair next to me and they drink out of the same cup." He pauses for a moment, "Oh… and the sandwich Eric got her without even asking her about it."

"Yep… and she feeds him food… with her fingers in his mouth, and I find his fingers underneath her shirt, and her lips swollen." She too paused for a moment, then turned back to Ryan with a wild look in her eyes. "You know, I'll just bet if I hadn't interrupted them, they might have done the nasty right then and there."

"Oh for God's sake, Max! What did I tell you about that visual image?" He gulped his beer as Valera giggled at him and drained her drink. "Alright… you win."

"Told you," Valera grinned in reply. She dropped a couple twenty dollar bills on the bar, hopped off her stool, and stunned Ryan into speechlessness when she grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him senseless, slipping her tongue between his teeth. She ended the kiss with a loud smacking noise and grinned again. "_You_ have lipstick on your face." With a wink she turned to leave.

Snapping himself out of his stupor, Ryan wiped the lipstick off his mouth and grabbed her arm at the same time. "Uh... Max. Would you like…" He sighed, looked down at his feet, then back at her. "How about I drive you home?"

Little did he know, that had been her plan. She knew that he wouldn't let her drive herself home after she had been drinking. "Sure," she told him with a grin as she took his hand. She'd just have to find a way to convince him to stay once they got there. Not a problem. If there was anyone capable of doing that, it was her.


End file.
